By Noel Alberto, FINDink Contributor
Growing up (and even now), my mom always asked me if I’m making “ligaw ligaw”. Growing up, I had no idea what that meant but later on, my told me, oh it means “to court a girl”. Winter is almost over, which means cuffing season is about to come to a close (November to March), but there’s never a season to #ShootYourShot2018 so ligaw ligaw (courting) season is all-year round.
There’s a lot into courtship in the Filipino culture. It can start with asking the girl for her phone number or address or with teasing. Why teasing you ask? There is teasing because the “official” courtship has not begun yet and also, it helps the male suitor who really does not know how to court a girl. After the “teasing stage”, the courtship becomes more serious if the female reciprocates with the teasing or “encourages” the suitor to continue.
In the “serious” stage, more dates involving the two, whether it be chaperoned dates or group dates. While courting, the suitor begins to bring pasalubong to the lady such as flowers, cards, letters, etc. This serious stage includes meeting the parents. While being courted, the woman must play hard to get , showing no interest or flirting, and being well-mannered, which is the appropriate behavior despite having interests for the suitor. Sometimes the suitor, who would be accompanied by friends, would head over to the women’s house and serenade her in a way of asking her to be his girlfriend.
The woman can choose one of many suitors, and once they begin the “dating phase”, no public displays of affection are usually shown. After the dating phase, the marriage phase begins where the man and his parents go upstairs of the woman’s house and ask for permission from the parents for the lady’s hand.
Some of this may sound old school and traditional, but some of this is a welcome change of pace in today’s hook-up culture. Hook-up culture is generally associated with people who are in high school or in college. In the social media age, courting someone will not go unnoticed. This is where the finsta comes in.
A finsta is a fake instagram which someone has to share their unfiltered experiences of life, which is private and only followed by your closest friends. It’s that place for those ugly selfies, those rants about life, and in this case, where you can talk about the girl you’re courting or the boy you’re crushing on.
In this day in age, it’ll be nice to see some more ligaw ligaw , of course this is coming from someone who is a traditionalist themself, but hey to each their own. :)
Disclaimer: The views of the author do not necessarily represent the views of FIND, Inc.